17 months on T, 5.5 months post keyhole with Dr. Bartlett
Sorry for being away so long. I’ve been really caught up in a bunch of things offline and also kinda busy moving into college and stuff (that’s my dorm room you see there, if you recognize somehow please don’t out me or whatever) Additionally trans related stuff has been making me +50000 anxious lately for a whole bunch of very ?????? reasons so. Pfffff anyway
Also I no longer have binders available, I donated them all to the In a Bind program, sorry.
I’ll try and get higher-quality pictures up at some point.
Testosterone-wise: my love handles/hips have gone way down. I’ve really stopped being so obsessive about working out - I think the forced break from working out because of recovery (and then because of being busy over the summer) and only really working out maybe a couple times a week, and not going nuts over a plan or whatever, has been really helpful. I don’t know if I’d say I’m more secure since I still do feel pretty anxious about some parts of my body but it’s very manageable and I’m definitely happy seeing progress continue.
There haven’t been a whole bunch of changes recently - honestly it’s more like I don’t give a shit anymore. Like who the fuck cares. I have gotten a little hairier on my belly and some other places I guess. Whatever.
Top surgery wise I’ve also stopped giving much of a shit? Honestly I forget I had it a lot of the time. My pecs are still a little lopsided but that’s because of the muscle being more developed on my left (???? i’m right handed wtf) I’m still numb and a tiny bit tender on my chest, mostly in like an inch or so radius of my nipples. I have a tiny bit of sensation back in my nipples. My left I can kind of feel if I touch the actual sticking-out nipple bit itself, but not really the areola - the right it’s a sort of weird situation, since I can feel sensation in the nipple, but only if I touch along the incision line under the areola and/or directly to the right of my areola (???????) And it’s not exactly the same as the sensation I had before. It’s not particularly pleasurable but mentally it’s pretty nice being able to go like, awww yiss I can feel my nips sort of. Also, my right nipple sticks out a bit more and sometimes when I touch it, it gets hard kind of around the incision. I have no idea what the fuck is even going on there but it really doesn’t bug me and I guess I might ask when I go in for my next Bartlett follow-up.
Being shirtless fucking rocks, also. Basically none of my anxieties re: top surgery came to pass. I forget I ever had it. It’s cool.
Oh yeah, and my drain scars are a bit itchy sometimes. And they kind of got hypertrophic but they just look like pretty bad bug bites or something. I don’t really care much. Besides they’ll fade with more time it’s only been five months.
Again, sorry for the absence.